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The moment you start reading a lot, is the moment you start to be afraid of yourself. You read books about controlling emotions, books about living in the moment and books to accept who you are as you are and so forth. By time you notice yourself practicing skills you never thought you would, you see yourself very dedicated to ensure healthy thinking and not rushing through what might happen in the future because no one knows what is going to happen. You notice yourself puling yourself back to today, when you notice being afraid and emotional about things that will happen tomorrow, you remember that whatever you're feeling right now, whether you feel like crying or anxious, is eventually forced on yourself by yourself. You shiver to the thought of harming yourself, but you happen to be the one doing so with your thinking. Keep it to the day when it comes to calm yourself, but then what happens when that day has come? You can't help but give in to reality and accept your reactions and the harshness of life, somethings are always against our wills, there is nothing we can possibly do about them but respect the flow of time and that only time will heal.
Little did I know that I would be the one practicing all that, and eventually respecting that only time will heal, will it though?
Yes, it will because you feel it will and because you believe it will. The day where you look back at your current self will come and you will feel proud of how you mastered the strength to accept reality and move on.
Appreciating the journey to where ever it plans to take me.
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